Remembering memories of my time as an undergraduate student, I recall the day Dr. High and Mighty went home ill after smoking some of his favorite pipe tobacco.
I am working my way through school and enjoy the privilege of working for Dr. Smiles at Everybody, one of the deans on campus. His office is located on the second floor of the Ad Building and is part of a larger cluster of administrative offices.
Other wannabe educators which share the suite with him include Dr. Nobody Knows, an internal operations man students have never seen, let alone heard of; Dr. Dudley Do Right, the dean of students who nobody likes, including the students; Dr. Handsome, pretty boy Dean of Academics; and Dr. I. M. Supreme, the self-important dean of graduate studies.
All of the deans along with their private secretaries are slave masters over poor, pathetic student workers like myself. Dr. Everybody’s secretary, Ms. Oh So Practical Jokester, husband is on the football team with my roommate. As his stand-in, I receive better treatment because my master has provided me with my own office.
Dr. I. M. Supreme’s letter opener is Mrs. Religious Right, a pleasant but extremely rigid and uptight middle-aged woman. Her student assistant, Miss Born-Again Christian, could easily be her wannabe daughter.
As for the other secretaries and their respective support teams, I don’t recall their names; however, like everyone else, they cannot stand the scent of Dr. I. M. Supreme’s pipe tobacco. Everyone thinks he’s tighter than tight and buys Prince Albert in a Can only when the stinky odor maker is on sale at the local Wally World discount center.
Today is Tuesday and I am serving hard time in the office. This is also the monthly Chamber Day luncheon for Dr. Handsome and Dr. I. M. Supreme. The latter dean is providing the program as he recently returned from South Africa. Dr. Do Right and my boss, Dr. Smiles at Everybody are in a morning conference with the Faculty Senate.
Clamping down on his overused pipe, Dr. Supreme comes out and demands Mrs. Right purchase his tobacco while she is out to lunch.
“I won’t have time myself, Mrs. Right. Don’t forget. Oh, and in advance, thank you very much.”
“Yes sir, I’ll remember. I will pray for you to do well at lunch and your presentation. God will be with you,” answers the subservient, timid worker bee.
Ms. Oh So Practical Jokester and I exchange glances and quietly laugh, thinking how can someone bow down and kiss this man’s less than royal ass. As pathetic as it appears, this mouse of a woman does so faithfully every day.
...to be continued...
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